He deserves a medal

For anyone who knows me well, it is plainly obvious that I am a neurotic person. Or as I like to call it: a head dweller. I spend hours thinking about useless things, that most people don't give a second thought to. I worry and wonder and ponder and sometimes freak out. At the moment, I have roughly 4.5 weeks left until my thesis is due, MFA exhibition and Graduation. In reality, I have just a handful of things to take care of, but in my head, there is loads to be done. I have made multiple lists of each task, breaking things down and then making more lists of the breakdown. It's ridiculous. I am my own worst enemy. I don't feel capable of making any decisions, and the procrastination does not help the neurotic behavior. Some are blaming my incapacity to choose printing options for the thesis or paint colors for the wall on Mercury being in retrograde. I certainly have never felt this unsure and insecure before, so I am willing to blame it on that too. Damn you Mercury!

Max had to attend a function at Berkeley today, and the dishes in the kitchen have reached astronomical proportions. I was firmly planted on the couch with my laptop, doing some research - in my pajamas - with frizzy hair. I'm sure I looked just gorgeous. And just when you think he'd gladly take the chance to run off to this event, to avoid my hysterics, to avoid the creatures growing in the sink... he turns to me and tells me he wishes he could stay home and hang out.

GULP.

(I think if you listen closely, you can hear my heart breaking just a little)